It all started with me getting a job at a company that is no longer in business near downtown Des Moines. We troubleshot CD Recorders, Mice, Floppies, Keyboards, and software necessary to run the equipment it came with. I came in as a complete rookie and didn’t know anything about computers but I caught on really fast. I started at this company when the fastest recorder was a 2x write (Meaning it would take 36 minutes to burn a full 72 minute disc.) Eighty minute CD's were not even available yet. The people that worked with me started using Ahead's Nero and Adaptec's Easy CD Creator to make our own music discs and compilation CD's from music that we had of own store-bought CDs. Only a few months down the road, Napster Beta versions had made its way to the internet and we were in heaven over this program. Napster was a peer-to-peer file sharing program that had what seemed like an endless supply of mp3s. After using Napster for quite some time, I started noticing that some of the tracks had tags on them such as -aPC, -EGO, -RNS and -KSi. Curiosity got the best of me and I started asking around what these were. I found out that these were the "Release Groups" that had a copy of the original and were making them available to the world by ripping them into mp3 format and sharing them by any means possible. By searching and reading more about this, I stumbled upon a website that also no longer exists (mp3crackhouse.com.) This website had released a new CD or two every day in full downloadable format with the highest quality sound which at the time was 192Kbit. An internet quality song was usually 96Kbit, radio quality song was 128Kbit and a music CD was usually 192 so that kind of explains the quality. The entire CD would only take a few minutes to download from this site and sometimes even included a cover scan. This site also included the SFV and NFO files. The SFV was a file that would verify the size of the mp3s to make sure that once they were downloaded, you had the whole CD and nothing was missing or corrupted. The NFO file included info about the release itself, release date, record label, number of tracks and information about the group that ripped it. This is how I found mIRC. At the bottom of one of the NFO files, I saw that it said "aPC on EFNET" After some quick googling for EFNET, I found mIRC and got it installed. Once I had started using mIRC (www.mirc.com), a chat client, to talk with other guys also in the "scene" (as it's referred to) I joined a release group called aPC (which was short for Apocalypse Production Crew). A release group simply is a group of people that released movies, games applications, or music on the internet. aPC was strictly about the music though and didn’t mess much with movies, games or applications. mIRC was the group's medium to stay in contact with each other besides the few that actually shared their ICQ or AOL messenger names. The size of the release group varied, some groups have 5 people, others maybe 20... I recall aPC having up to 30 members at one point. Mostly the members of the group don't know each other in real life and don't even know each others real names. Trust is a highly important issue, since the group's activities aren't legal, the team members have to be able to rely on each other. This is what got me.
The majority of CD's that I downloaded, I had before the release date in the store. EXAMPLE: Korn-Untouchables-2002-PMS was released on the scene in April of 2002 by a group called PMS (which stood for Phat Metal Shit or Porch Monkey Surveillance) but didn't come out in the stores until June 11th 2002. I had gotten it 3 months early! Korn actually found out about this and was one of the first groups that got really upset about file sharing. This is just one of the thousands of CD's that came out before the release date. Anyone could go out and buy a new CD the day it came out, but to go up to your friends and say, “Hey, I got the new Enimem or the new NSYNC CD” before it was even available in the stores was always fun. I remember a group called Youngstown had come to Des Moines for a concert and their CD had not been released yet, but when they were performing, I was singing along and they kept looking at me like “How the hell does this kid know our stuff?” I also took part in the 'releasing/ripping' of CD's as well, not just the downloading. Sorry to all of the artists... Even though I had access to download all of these songs, I still paid for music. I own over 1,000 store-bought CD's and still to this day buy a few a month.
On August 21, 2003 Mark Shumaker (known as markalso), pleaded guilty to violating copyright laws and became the first federal criminal prosecution of someone who specialized in music piracy after having been raided in Operation Buccaneer. Shumaker was previously a leader of aPC (and was considered my boss), but at the time of the raid, he had retired his role. No members of aPC were raided as a part of Operation Buccaneer. Five years later, however, aPC would be raided in Operation FastLink which caused the disbanding of the group. This is the operation that came after me. They’ve busted quite a few people and you can check that out on Wikipedia.org. My name has not been added on there yet because a few people have yet to be convicted and once they are done, I believe my information will be released and will probably make CNN.com.
Operation FastLink is a coordination of four separate, simultaneous undercover investigations run by the FBI, the FBI Cyber Division, the U.S. Department of Justice, the Computer Crimes and Intellectual Property Section (CCIPS) of the Criminal Division and Interpol. The four different investigations have not been publicly enumerated, but the U.S. Department of Justice has said in at least one press release that "Operation Higher Education" is the largest component, with participation from twelve nations. Mention has also been made of an investigation into pre-release music groups led by FBI agents from the Washington Field Office. As of February 26, 2006, the U.S. Department of Justice states that Operation FastLink is "ongoing" and has yielded felony convictions of 27 individuals. The raids occurred in similar fashion to those from Operation Buccaneer and Operation Site Down. Other somewhat-related law enforcement actions include Operation Gridlock and Operation D-Elite.
The operation led to the successful busts of nearly 100 individuals involved in illegal copying of copyrighted software (i.e "software piracy"), and alterations thereof, worldwide. There were around 120 total searches executed in 27 states and in 10 foreign countries. Foreign searches were conducted in Belgium, Denmark, France, Germany, Hungary, Israel, the Netherlands, Singapore, Sweden as well as Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Among the prolific warez release groups targeted by Fastlink were Fairlight, Kalisto, Echelon, Class,and DEViANCE - all of which specialized in pirating computer and console video games. Recent convictions have included members of music release groups Apocalypse Production Crew (Me and a few others) and Chromance (CHR).
On June 24th 2004, I get a knock on my door around 8AM. I stumble out of bed and open the door to see 3 people standing in front of me (and two were standing at my back patio door) and I knew exactly what it had to be. I couldn't believe it. The FBI was standing at my front door. I left their names out just to make sure I don’t end up with some other crime. LOL! I'd never been in any trouble, or gotten into any drugs or anything like that, so I knew it had to be for the my music collection. They had a search warrant and spent about 5 hours taking my testimony and searching my entire house. I had a VERY large amount of songs. My nickname on mIRC had been aRkiver because I had archived such a huge collection of music. I'd rather not say how much I had, but I'll guarantee I had more music than anyone reading this article. I DJ'd numerous parties, weddings and other events and there was never a time that a song was requested that I didn't have. Four months prior to them coming, I had already left aPC because I felt that the risk was just getting too great and people getting busted scared me a bit.) The FBI agents then left my house with 2 car loads of computers, CDs, books, boxes, and just about anything they thought relevant. It was a really sad time for me because quite a few years of hard work had gone down the drain. I literally spend hours and hours every single day working on this collection and someone just came up and took it away from me. I spent loads of money on computer equipment and CD's. I never did get any of my stuff back. I actually told the prosecutor after the case was over that he could keep my hard drive and to just give me the computer back but he said not a chance. That sucked because it was a state of the art computer as well. I couldn’t even tell my parents for a while what had happened because I didn’t know what they’d say. Eventually I told them, and my dad just got pissed. My mom was a lil’ upset and worried about what would happen. Most of the people reading this don’t know that I have a brother, but he’s actually in prison due to a rough childhood. He got started with drugs pretty early. I told my mom there was a chance I could end up going to prison for it and she was just completely silent in awe.
In 2006, I received a letter from the government stating I was going to be summoned to court on behalf of my copyright infringement case They told me I had to find a way to Virginia because that is where the government’s operation was out of and I really didn't have money to do that. I had thought that by the FBI taking all of my stuff, that I was in the clear and it was all over with. It had been 2 years since they were at my house. I was assigned a court appointed attorney due to being poor and I had no intentions of asking my parents to help me out with a lawyer. Her name was Denise Tassi if anyone ever needs a good lawyer in Virginia, she does an excellent job. After doing some reviews over my past history and financial background, the FBI and my lawyer booked me a flight to Alexandria, Virginia in July of 2006 for me to plead. It was decided that I would pay for it up front, but I could go to the United States Marshals office and they would reimburse me for the cost of the trip. The federal government guidelines state that with my crime, I am a level 16 which is equivalent to 9-12 months in prison. One account of copyright infringement can have a maximum fine of $250,000 fine and 5 years in prison. I had already had numerous conversations with my lawyer and of course decided to plead guilty because I knew what I had done was wrong and they had proof. This way I would have a less chance of having prison time due to dragging out a court case and getting jurors involved. Obviously, I also had cooperated with the FBI and told them everything knew about aPC which wasn't much because like I said early, everyone was very private and secretive. The judge would be T.S. Ellis III. My lawyer told me he was one of the most fair judges and to be straight forward and honest with him which of course I would be. So the day finally comes and my buddy Andy dropped me off at the airport, good ole Des Moines International. I was clean shaven and had a brand new suit on and looked sharp as possible. A quick layover stop in the Dallas Texas airport,, I had a straight flight to Washington Dulles and then would need a taxi drive from there to Alexandria. I spent the afternoon reading magazines and listening to music. Flying alone sucks. I finally landed in the huge airport and grabbed a quick bite to eat and hopped on the first taxi. I was lucky that the driver knew how to get to where I was going. I traveled in his backseat for what seemed like forever. I had finally made it to the courthouse, but they have a rule there that no cell phones can be brought in and of course I needed to have it with me so I could get a hold of everyone and my lawyer and what not. Now I was screwed because it wasn’t like I could just “run it home” or “put it in my car” I was able to get to my lawyer to come outside and then take my bag to her car. It was a big pain, but I understand their rules due to 9/11 and stuff. I’d rather be safe and cell-phone-less then have a cell phone blow me up. I walked in to the huge courtroom and the court reporter was the only thing I could hear. His typing echoed in the huge room. Eventually the judge came in and went over the case, I plead guilty in front of a few other people, still nervous as hell. The judge confirmed about 10 times that I was sure that I wanted to plead guilty and not go into a trial. I said yes and he proceeded. He said that I would be required to come back to be sentenced at a later time. So now I’m pissed because I have to go back to Virginia and go through this whole deal again. I was then dismissed, it had been one of the worst days of my life. The defense prosecutor and my lawyer worked together and actually took me all over the place in Virginia and Maryland. They had me finger printed and booked at a few places. Taking mug shots and fingerprints is not my exact plans for a fun day. Standing there getting my pictures taken just in case they need to catch me on Americas Most Wanted or something in the future, they’ll have me on file. The good thing was, I never had to put on an orange jumpsuit or anything. That night, I went to the lobby of the Holiday Inn I was staying at and had a hamburger and a beer in hopes to relax a bit. It didn't help much. The beer did hit the spot though. The next day, I took a 78 dollar cab ride back to the Dulles airport and flew home. I literally walked in the door and took a shower and went straight to a mixed martial arts event. I love martial arts and especially the UFC and it's pretty much taken over everything I do and I happened to be one of the ringside judges for this event. It was crazy, I remember being at the fights trying to be happy but I was in a terrible mood. I told a lot of people at the fights what had happened and most people thought I was just making it up until I showed them some of the business cards and pieces of paper in my wallet that had “FBI” written on ‘em.
The next 3 months weighed heavy on my shoulders because my fate was riding on that judges decision. I couldn't even imagine going to prison and thought about that judge and prison every day. Most people that know me, think of me as a scrawny, smart guy and not the 'prison type.' I immediately hit the gym really hard because I knew if I was going to go to prison, I didn't want to be 130 pounds... On top of the depression that was making me drink on a daily basis, I still went to the gym, hung over most times, but I made it. I put on about 10 pounds in the next 3 months. Not enough, but it was better than nothing.
Low and behold it was time to fly back to Alexandria in October 2006. Andy had dropped me off again and I was flying out of Des Moines. After sitting in the airplane for an hour, we were delayed because a window wiper didn't work and we had to wait for another plane. I called my lawyer and told her that there was a good chance I would be late (this means I could be in trouble for not showing up to a federal court case.) I ended up getting re-routed to Chicago and then had 2 minutes once I landed to get on the next plane. I literally was running in the airport. Once I got to the airport, the taxi driver was clueless how to get to where we were going. For once in my life, my mind proved strong and I told him how to get there because I remembered from last time. Being lost in the middle of no where by yourself is a little bit nerve-wracking. I showed up at about 4:45 and the case started at 5pm. Clean shaven and all suited up again, I went in the court room again in front of T.S. Ellis III and was ready to hear what he was going to say. The judge actually stayed after hours just to make sure we could get my case over with. I was hoping for the best, but expected the worst. I'll never forget the words out of his mouth. "I recommend sentencing of 6 months in a federal facility..." and then everything else kind of just faded out. I knew I had been sentenced to prison because of my love for music. After a few more things, my lawyer took me back to my hotel and I just went in my room and sat there dumbfounded all by myself, 1,000 miles from home. I then went down to the bar again and bought myself a few beers and went back to my room and watched TV for the rest of the night. My mind was completely blank. I took a cold shower in hopes to cool off but it didn’t help. I slept terrible and breakfast was nothing good. Eventually, I got back in a cab and headed for the Dulles airport again on the 80 dollar taxi ride. The only thing that made me laugh on this trip was my taxi driver looked exactly like George Clooney, but he was Arabian. So it was like George Clooney with a turban on. I called my parents and explained what had happened, and they were both at a loss for words because I've always been "such a good kid" (I'm 27) - I've never done drugs, I've been to college, I have a steady job, I was on honor roll in school... After a flight that pretty much floated by because I still was in shock, I made it back to Des Moines.
When I got home, I called everyone and explained what had happened and posted some myspace bulletins and blogs. Again, everyone I knew thought I was making it all up until I showed off some of the paperwork as proof. The decision was made by the prosecutor and judge that I would self surrender to a Federal Penitentiary closest to my home and the notice would come in the mail anytime and I just had to be prepared. The defense prosecutor said that he didn’t believe I was a threat and I would indeed show up. I thought it was going to be in Yankton, South Dakota, but it ended up being Duluth Minnesota. Obviously, I started living like there was no tomorrow and partying as much as possible and doing everything I could to just live it up knowing my freedom was coming to a close. My friends took good care of me and of course made plenty of jokes and they still do which I don’t mind at all. I actually make quite a few of those jokes myself and have even thought about getting the Anti-Piracy logo tattooed on me because that will make for one hell of a story-starter. They always say if you do the crime, you gotta do the time so I sucked it up and told my parents I would go through with it right away and get it over as soon as I could. I tried to "scare" people into not downloading songs because they too could get caught. I'm sure that quite a few people have removed Limewire, Bearshare and WinMX since I first found out and told them about it.
The letter finally came about mid-November and it stated I had to report to FPC Duluth (Minnesota) on December 17th, yep, 8 days before Christmas. All I could think is what kind of jerk would sentence someone a few days before Christmas. I asked my lawyer Denise (who again was amazing through this whole thing by the way) if she could try to get it delayed 8 or 9 days so I could spend Christmas with my family. They actually came back to her and said "Christmas is no reason to delay a prison sentence." This was the first Christmas in 26 years that I would not be with my family.
On December 1st, my friends through a HUGE going away party. I couldn't have asked for a better party... Opie, Travis, Andy, Ben, Boo, and Kenny helped out. All of my friends showed up at one point or another, drinks coming from left and right and shots galore. Everyone had a blast. There were so many people there and pictures, whip cream, and we’ll save that story for another day. The day before I was scheduled to leave was also Travis's birthday (the guy that threw the party for me). The night of his birthday we attended the Three Days Grace, Saliva, and Shinedown concert at the Val Air Ballroom but I had a tough time enjoying it because I knew where I was headed in just a few hours. One of the most beautiful girls I know came to the concert with me as did my roommate and a few others. It was nice to be with them in the last few hours, although my brain was still in a daze. I love Three Days Grace and can’t wait to see them again.
I had been called 2 days prior to leaving by lawyer telling me she got my sentence reduced to 30 days! Of course, I was ecstatic when I heard that. I had been sleeping when she called due a party the night before so I ran into my living room after the call was over and busted out a beer and cheered and yelled loud enough to wake everyone up with my good news of 30 days instead of 6 months!
On the morning of the 16th, Travis, Spencer, Opie and I drove to Minneapolis and went to the Mall of America to celebrate the goodbye. Our first stop was Hooters inside the Mall of America; which is a tradition for us when we go there. We indulge in some Bud Light pitcher races and get a lil’ liquored up. Then we rode some roller coasters and had lunch. Later on that night, we went to Mystic Lake Casino for some late night poker. We're all poker fans and play for fun whenever we have time. Eventually we found a Motel 6 not far from where the prison would be and slept for a bit. I had to report to the prison by Noon. After slamming down a Burger King breakfast, I love ham and cheese breakfast sandwiches... we went up the street and could see the prison. I remember my gut dropping (I was driving) when I saw the building.
We finally pulled in the complex and after getting the instructions from the guard through the squak box, we went to where we were supposed to and parked the car. I gave some hi-fives and handshakes and told my guys that everything would be okay and just smiled at all of 'em and headed to the control room front doors. I didn't even look back because at this point, it began to really suck.
So the guys are probably in the car talkin' about dropping their friend off at prison. Something most people will probably never get to experience. I would never wish it upon my worst enemy because it's far from awesome.
I go in and sit in this room and just wait to see what’s going to happen. Finally a guy comes out and he decides to take some pictures of me and then proceeds to strip me down and describe my tattoos and scars and what not. Nothing like standing in front of another dude naked just hanging out. Also on my top ten list of not-favorite-things-to-do. I'll never forget him handing me a 2XL t-shirt shirt and was like, here ya go. And I was like Hmm, I am sure I wouldn't grow into this shirt by the time I died. (I'm 5'10" 140lbs at this time) I get it on and all of the other "cool" prison clothes... Light brown elastic waistband pants with no front or back. No pockets, no tags nothing. Some knee-high socks, with the rattiest blue slip-on shoes ever. The mustachioed guard then has me fill out some stuff with another guy who happens to be a counselor. The guy tells me that I'd been sentenced to 6 months and my discharge date would be June something. Of course I was explained there had to be a mistake because I was supposed to only be there for 30 days, not six months. The counselor said nothing had changed and that I was still on for 6 months and to not argue with him. That was my second fun prison experience…
Once he was done, he lead me out to the medic area. I sat there for 3 straight hours (without food or a bathroom break) and just stared at the other inmates that happened to come in for a checkup or tooth cleaning. Quite a few of the guys said hello and "Welcome" but plenty of others were quiet and didn't even acknowledge I was there (which was cool with me.) I remember this one guy said to me, “Where ya from?” and then he said …Well, I know you’re from the streets but where did ya live before coming here” (The streets is how the inmates refer to “home” I guess. After some a regular checkup and a TB test with the medic, I was cleared and good to go. The TB test left a bruise on my arm for about a week. He told me I had to come back in a few days to check it out and make sure I was good to go. I went and sat in the lobby of the control room. Now I had a hooded green winter coat that was heavy and thick. I was happy about that because it was damn cold outside. Finally a rookie guard came over and sat down with me and explained everything and what it was going to be like. I don't really think anyone can go into prison their first time and not be a little scared so he was trying to assure me that everything would be alright as long as I didn’t start any shit. The rookie walked me to my room which was on the second floor of the Superior dorm. The dorms were named after all 5 great lakes but I liked mine the best because the name after all means “The Best.” The prison is actually an old air force base so it was a really big area. It was really neat having the airport right next to the prison. I’ll get into that later though… I carried my rucksack full of stuff; pillow, two green wool blankets, soap, and some more clothes. I got in my room and 2 guys were in there. I'm gonna leave their names out, but they all ended up being pretty cool guys. This was a 6 man room about the size of half a normal bedroom. There were 6 lockers, 3 bunk beds two folding chairs and a desk. I slept on the top middle bunk. The top middle bunk is the worst spot and since I was the newbie, that’s where I went. I made up my bed and just laid down still in awe that I was sitting in prison. AWESOME! (Not really.) One of the rules there is that your bed has to always be made except when you are sleeping in it. Even though I’m home now, I still make my bed every day now.
Within an hour or two, the other guys had all made way back to the room because we had to do "counts" quite a few times during the day just to make sure everyone was where they were supposed to be. No one escaped the whole time I was there so apparently it works. During the counts, everyone has to stand and be visible so the guard can see in the room and no talking on the entire floor during the count time. Two cards start at one and end and count each guy and then they meet up and both say the number of inmates they counted. As long as they had the same number, then we are clear, if they are off, they recount or lock us down. My first night in, the guys had decided to make pizza out of the collection of stuff they had in the commissary and a few veggies that made their way from the kitchen into our dorm. Green peppers sold for two stamps a piece and tomatoes and onions sold for one stamp. For 'microwavable prison food' - it was some of the best stuff I've ever had. I decided that night, that I would no longer be picky about my food because it's better to eat something you don't like than to starve, I hadn’t eaten since Burger King that morning. They had olives and mushrooms on the pizza and I don’t like either, but I sure as hell scarfed it down.
Four of the guys in my room were all there for various drug charges and the other, he was there for some issues with the city government and money. Two guys were from Illinois, one from Oregon, one from Wisconsin and the last guy was from Montana. So of course when I tell them my story and why I was there, I'm the weakass and was immediately nicknamed "Shorttime." I heard some great stories about how the other guys ended up in the same place as me, including a guy that basically ripped off parking meters for a living and another guy that counterfeited $20.00 bills for quite a long time before finally getting caught. It really happens and people really get caught. Too many people don’t understand that until it happens to them. That night, one of the guys decided to take me out on a 'tour' of the yard. Not to mention on this tour, that it's about 0° outside. Duluth Minnesota isn’t far from Canada and it was the dead middle of winter. We were provided with Gloves, A scarf, A hat, long underwear which most people never took off and obviously the big green coat. We went everywhere, from the church to the library, to the gym and movie theatre. They played movies Wednesday, Thursday, Friday & Saturday nights. One movie would play Wednesday and Thursday two times a night and another movie would play Friday & Saturday and again repeat two times per night at 5:30 and 7:30 usually. It's hard to pack 900 guys into one small room, so they split it up amongst those four days. I watched movies over and over again just to pass the time. My friends know that I can't stand to watch movies twice.
I finally fell asleep that night around 10:30 cause that is when my guys usually went to bed due to work duties. At about 5:30 or 6am, one of the guys woke me up so we could go eat breakfast. Your shirt has to always be tucked in and you can never have your hat on inside the lunch hall. I had to learn both of those the hard way. Breakfast nearly every day was grits which I don’t like but did eat a few times. Hard Boiled eggs were there daily as well. The prison people know that guys workout really hard and need their protein to rebuild muscle after hitting the weights. Oatmeal, toast and juice was pretty common too. We also had french toast and cereal.
The eating area wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Most of the white guys sat in the middle of the room and everyone else sat around the border of the room. That was just the majority, but there were tables that black guys and white guys would sit together, and plenty of other tables had mixed races together. For the most part, if there was an open seat, you could take it as long as you asked first. I ate lunch with some guys as young as 20 and guys as old as 70 (that I remember.) I had a pretty tough time seeing these guys that were like 70 years old in there walking with a cane and knowing that they would probably spend their last days there. The worst part about the lunch hall was that it was quite a walk from my cell, not to mention that we had to wait outside as certain groups of people got to get in line first.
09/02/07 (Update)
I edited some stuff above and will continue on from here
It’s now like 10:00 on my first full day and I’m bored out of my mind. One of my cellmates took me to what I called the Rec Room to watch some TV. The rec room had about 10-15 pool tables and ping pong tables and a ton of card tables. I’m quite the card player, but decided that I wasn’t going to play any games just to prevent myself from getting in a fight or gambling debts. The rec room also had a TV with about 50 chairs in front of it that usually had the news on in the morning and movies during the day and sports or reality TV during the evening. The best part of the rec room though, was that it was full of vending machines. In prison, (at least this one) it’s against the rules to have any cash, so we use our ID card like a debit card. It had my picture on it, but the back was a magnetic strip just like a debit card. When I went in, I thought one of the toughest parts would be that I’d go without Pepsi because I had no idea that there would be pop machines. I started drinking Pepsi around 1990 and had at least one can a day or more ever since. I’ve finally cut the habit in August of this year. THANKS GATORADE! When I arrived, they took all my cash I had on me and added it to this debit card, so I had a few hundred bucks available for spending.
So here I am in the middle of this place that seemed like a frat-house game room. Everyone was laughing and havin’ a good time at the pool tables and watching college football on TV. I actually thought to myself that maybe it wasn’t “that bad.” After a few hours, I ended up back in my room for a count again and someone delivered commissary slips. It was basically a big blank grocery list that had every item in the store on it. What you would do is put a checkmark next to the item you wanted or put a number if you wanted more than one item. This would be my first “trip to the store” as we called it. I remember getting paper, stamps, envelopes, a pen, shower shoes and some food. In the commissary room, you have to wait in line and when you get ton the front, you fold your piece of paper in half and stick it through a little slit in the window. Usually 3 to 4 inmates work in the grocery store and literally push around a cart and grab all the items you request. Then they go drop your stuff off at the front and there are 2 “registers” and guards run those. They ring up your items and you hand them your debit card and sign a piece of paper and put all of your items in your laundry bag. It was a pretty neat system.
As soon as I got back to my room, I wrote some letters and got those mailed off that night. I learned another lesson the hard way that night. I had written “FPC Duluth” as my return address and the guard called me into the mail room over the intercom and basically chewed my ass. He said “This isn’t an “FPC,” this is a Federal Prison Camp so you will write that out on ALL of your mail. I never made that mistake again. Dinner time came about and it was fried chicken and veggies. I actually think I ate better in prison than I ever have before. At least 3 full meals a day plus we usually made a meal in the room before dinner but I’ll get to those later.
After dinner, I decided to go outside and walk around. There were yellow lines quite a few places and you were supposed to walk along those so you did not “go out of bounds.” I made my way to the gym and decided I would start a workout plan for myself. Five days a week I ended up doing 50 pull-ups a day. It came out to about 1,000 pull-ups while I was there. Not enough really, but better than nothing. I did about 2,000 pushups too. Yeah, I counted. In the weight room, guys work out in “cars” which consists of guys that lift about the same amount of weight in groups of 3 or 4. That way, one guy does bench while one guy spots, then as soon as he is done, they move clockwise and then next guy benches while the other guy spots. They get an even amount of rest in between sets and minimize their time in the gym because they don’t have to change all the weights themselves. I never got into anyone’s car, the guys in my room all lifted way too much for me. I stuck with a lot of cable machines and water-workouts (pull-ups, pushups, and dips.) Just a little ways away from the gym, there was a fenced in track that guys could walk, but there was quite a bit of snow and ice, so I didn’t go out there too much.
Not too long after I had arrived, a basketball league started in the gym. I watched a few games, but never played. There were pool tourneys, scrabble tourneys and ping pong tourneys. Chess was played nearly 24/7 in the TV room. I played 3 games and won all 3. There was a TV room on each floor of the dorm, and whoever got to the room first got to decide what channel was on. They were small 13 or 14 inch TVs that hung up on the wall. The weird part, was that the TVs were muted. You had to buy a set of headphones and then the room had a transmitter that allowed you to listen through your headphones. I never bought headphones, so when I watched TV in the TV room, I just watched. I usually watched in the rec room if I wanted sound. But sports and stuff like that, I watched in the TV room.
Two days into my “vacation” as I now call it, it’s Wednesday the 20th. It’s officially movie night. The movie playing this week is “Invincible” featuring Mark Wahlberg. I ended up watching “My Super Ex-Girlfriend” and “The Wicker Man” while I was there as well. Me and three of my cell mates walked to the movie theatre and snuck in the back door which is supposed to be the exit only. They had been going to movies regularly on Wednesday nights so they normally only had 3 chairs. I was now the odd-ball so I sat by them anyway in hopes that I wasn’t in anyones chair. Unfortunate for me, I was. I recall the guy tapping on my left shoulder and I turned around and he just said “You’re in my chair.” And I was like alright, cool, and I moved up a few rows which would be like the 3rd row in a “real” movie theater. –It’s like neck breaking just to sit there, but I did anyway. That was my only “confrontation” with anyone the whole time I was in prison.
Being in prison, there aren’t a whole lot of “women” around- There were a few including the doctor and the dentist and a few guards, so the guys there are just animals. I remember one week they had played The Pussycat Dolls live in concert, that was probably the most packed I’d ever seen the theatre. The women nearly naked on screen dancing and singing, that’s about close to ‘sex’ as these guys got. I had to go a few weeks without seeing some girls myself, so I actually appreciated the video as well. Anytime there was a hot woman on TV, at least one person if not all of them were hootin’ and hollerin’ at the TV. Everyone made jokes that there would be a line for the showers after watching this. In our world, we call it masturbation, in the prison world, it’s called “getting your money.” The shower was actually the only place of privacy on the whole yard really. The shower room I used was a big room with about 6 or 7 stalls and 3 showers. If you heard water on, you’d say “Shower Clear?” and if someone said yes, then you could walk back and get in one of the empty showers. If they said no, it meant a guy was standing outside of the shower getting dressed. The guys really stressed to me the first night I was there to get shower shoes and I didn’t think anything of it at first, but then it rang a bell the first night I took a shower. In order to not “step” on anything, one would need shower shoes. Gross, I know, but it happens.
I used a shower that was actually further from my dorm. The shower that was closer was known as the “smoking” bathroom. Since the prison is a federal facility, there is no smoking on the grounds at all. I can’t stand the smell of smoke, so I hated to go in there. One way or another, guys had gotten tobacco into the yard. It’s prison, I guess you can get anything if you try hard enough.
Well, I guess I kinda screwed up by not finishing this story earlier because now I don't quite recall all the details of the story so I'll just kinda ramble on about a few things.
I ended up getting a job in the kitchen. It's the place that most guys get started unless they have specific skill that would benefit elsewhere like an electrician or plumber. I would be working at like 5:30 or 6:00am and my job was "Pots and Pans". Obviously, cooking breakfast for about 900 people took some time and required a lot of dishes. Me and three or four other guys were in the sink area every morning for about 5 hours or so making around 20 cents an hour. Not exactly what I call "gettin rich" but yeah... We each worked 4 days but were scheduled for 5. We had kind of a secret agreement that allowed one guy out of each shift to come clock in and then he could leave for the day and the other guys would take care of everything. It was cool. The first thing I ended up washing made me laugh so hard. It looked like a HUGE boat paddle. They used it to stir the oatmeal/grits that we ate. We always ended up wet, but it really wasn't a bad gig. The day before I left, we even got into a water fight which was pretty fun until the warden walked by. We stopped just in time. (THANK GOD) or we would have been in some major trouble.
A lot of times after working the kitchen, I would go "home" and take a shower and get ready for the day. We had some vending machines on the first floor and I would usually go down and buy myself a cold Pepsi. It was the one thing I looked forward to every day. It was the only thing I loved that I had with me.
It's been over a year since I was released from prison. I have no real interest in talking about this anymore so this is where the story ends.
Bruce
prisonsucks AT gmail DOT com
***Please click the comment link and tell me what you think***
